The problem with fearlessness
Posted on October 24 2017
Last week I took some time off. For the first time, in a long time. And I did some thinking:
6 months ago, I quit my part time job and went full time with my own business. It’s been six months of massive work, little-to-no pay, sleepless nights, worry and tears, but ALSO goals achieved, sales, proud moments, community and the joy of getting to do exactly what I am most passionate about: Creating paper products for the joy and help of other people.
In these six months, I’ve also come closer to quitting my business, than I’ve ever been in the five years I’ve had the vision and dream. Why? Because of fear.
- Most of all, fear of not being able to pay our bills. Fear that it will be my fault, -and my passion and dream’s fault, - that my husband and I loose our house or go bankrupt.
- Fear that I will make a fool of myself, because I’ve never run a business before, and a lot of this is trial and error.
- Fear that I will make the wrong choices, and I will be able to look back and see it was all my own fault.
- Fear that this work I’m doing, doesn’t really matter in the end anyway.
There is a popular Pinterest quote that reads:
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”
I just think that is so unachievable and untrue.
When we chase what sets our souls on fire, the big God-dreams and small important steps toward what really matters in this life, I don’t think it is possible to do it without fear. And if that is your goal, to do it without fear, you will never reach your mark.
Ask any expecting new parent, anyone doing anything new or any small business owner, if they are fearless. -And they will tell you, that they are not. That fear is part of the package. It’s part of doing anything new and exciting and important.
So, back to last week: I’ve been SO caught up in fear lately, and re-evaluating if this paper dream of mine is really what I should be doing, when I am doing it with so much fear. Then I was reminded, that I actually made a little change to that Pinterest quote, when I designed my stickers this summer: I wrote ‘persistent’, instead of fearless.
“Be persistent in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire”.
My own tiny rebellion.
Persistence is going after something because you believe it will be worth it. Persistence is staying on your path, even when fear joins the journey. Persistence is knowing it might be trying, but having faith you are meant to do it anyway.
I am writing this, because I think some of you are out there chasing that soul-fire, but feeling fear creeping up on you and asking yourself, if you should turn around. Today I just want to encourage you to keep going. Lets be persistent, not fearless, together.